


I'm Fine

by Amydiddle



Series: Growing Up Parts of a Whole [9]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: Anxiety is just scared, Deceit is just a kid, Delusion Sanders - Freeform, Gen, Kid!Fic, Kind of a vent fic, Patton is worried for his kiddo, Sanders Sides - Freeform, Sympathetic Deceit, The most told lie, kid!sides, not edited, thomas sanders - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-23 18:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17688821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amydiddle/pseuds/Amydiddle
Summary: From the moment that Thomas’ alarm went off, it was easy to sense that something was off in the mindscape. The temperature was a freezing cold to match the tension. The shadows in the corner of the hallways seemed to be darker. If it was not a school day, there would be great encouragement for their host to stay in bed.There is no reason for Thomas to feel this scared. This off. What could be wrong on a normal morning?And why are none of the usual things working to calm him down?





	I'm Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Delusion is Deceit's kid name 
> 
> The idea that Logic and Morality were 'Learning and Heart' and also that the sides are locked up in rooms but there developing slowly comes from an amazing fic by FrickinGwaine called "Learning for the Heart". I loved the idea a lot and adopted it into my own HCs.

From the moment that Thomas’ alarm went off, it was easy to sense that something was off in the mindscape. The temperature was a freezing cold to match the tension. The shadows in the corner of the hallways seemed to be darker. If it was not a school day, there would be great encouragement for their host to stay in bed.

Patton tried to push off the guilt for letting Thomas stay up late to play his new Gameboy game. He had just been so excited, but if this got his kiddo sick, he would never forgive himself. He forced the feelings down and put on a smile as he remembered the happiness Thomas felt for beating the hard level.

Sometimes it was good to give into the heart’s wants.

This was the thought that got Heart to down the hallway. He gave a happy greeting to Logic as they passed in the hall. The side only giving him a wave before disappearing into the bathroom.

Heart didn’t mind. Logan usually did not perk up until he was dressed and got his breakfast; Patton was happy to provide that.

The thought of some Fruity Pebbles got him into the living room before he paused. The cold feeling seemed to have intensified in the hub and made the heart uneasy. His eyes darted nervously to the corners of the room before they landed on the couch.

A pit fell in his stomach.

The morning routine had become the same since Creativity and Delusion appeared. Patton would wake up, great Logic, make his way down the stairs to wake up the sleeping side on the couch, and then start breakfast. Usually Dee would mumble and hide under the blankets before being coaxed out with the smell of food.

But Dee was not on the couch. The pile of blankets the side usually became during the night were still neatly folded. Rarely had Heart every seen the youngest go down into the basement to sleep in his room. An understandable worry since the dark space made the sides nervous.

The same brand of nerves that was infecting the mind now.

With Delusion’s disappearance and the worry that sunk into Heart’s bones and took hold. He fumbled for the remote and turned the TV on. The screen flickered to the last show that Thomas watched before settling onto the world around the host.

Thomas was curled up under his blankets with a pit in his stomach and his thoughts in a whirl. Yet, he could not pin point what about waking up had made him so anxious. He just wished he could calm down or go back to sleep.

* * *

 

In the basement of his mind, a young side paced around his room. Yellow words were etched into the grey walls that surrounded him. His mirror showing the world from the human’s eyes. A yellow eye flashed as words left the pacing boy’s mouth.

“Everything is okay. We are okay. There is no danger.”

The words appeared on the wall but quickly turned black. A truth trying to plant itself into the mind of the child. Sadly, the thoughts merely peeled off the paint like paper. The letters disintegrated before they hit the ground.

A frustrated groan left the young side at the sight and the pacing started up again.

_Nothing is working._

“We can’t stay in bed forever,” Delusion stated finally.

He turned to the bed that was pushed to the corner of the room. Another boy, pale and hidden in the shadows of the blankets, glanced everywhere but at the child in front of him.

“I know.”

As soon as the words were mumbled from the blanket bundle they appeared in yellow on the wall.

Dee ran a hand through his hair and groaned, “What do you want me to do?”

“Thomas, sweetie, it’s time to get up”

The words of Mother seemed to circle around the room. Setting a new time limit for deciding the best course of action for the sides to come to a decision.

Delusion’s mind ran into overdrive as he tried to grasp at an idea. Then one clicked.

Lies were not working so they had to, “We have to tell mom.”

“Tell her what?” The figure asked the words cautiously.

His face finally peeked out of the shadows to show the large bags under the child’s eyes.

“We can say we are not feeling good,” it seemed so obvious. This was not a secret worth keeping, “She is an adult. Adults always know how to make bad feelings go away.”

He turned his back to the side and looked at the mirror.

Thomas had finally pulled himself out of bed but was taking his time to choose any clothes. The kid’s thoughts circled around in the back of Delusion’s mind. Thomas did not want to go to school feeling this way.

But Mom could help. Maybe even find out why Anxiety is so nervous today.

“No!” A force pushed Delusion back away from the mirror and onto his old beanbag. The child’s eyes wide as he looked up at Anxiety in shock.

It was not the force that scared him; Dee was guilty of using a ‘force’ when he was emotional as well. What shook the child was the growl that had left the usually quiet side.

“But…but she-.”

The side pushed the blankets off himself and stood up off the bed. The large jacket hung off his skinny frame. The dark circles around the eyes seemed to only get darker as he looked down at Delusion.

“She will think Thomas is crazy! Or that he is overreacting! Or paranoid! Or…or…just making it up!”

Delusion held back at the wanted to point out that Anxiety was being a little paranoid about being paranoid over nothing. This did not seem like the time to antagonize the younger side.

A knock-on Thomas’ door made both the sides look to the image on the mirror. Time was not being kind of the two of them. A debate was not to be allowed.

Thomas moved to get dressed and Dee turned to the issue at hand.

“I just don’t know why you are so scared, Anxiety. You won’t tell me and all we have done today is wake up.”

Delusion stood up and carefully moved around the younger side. Without a reason to go off he was stuck with white lies, small reassurances, and a whole lot of nothing.

“I told you, I don’t know. Just something is off.”

“What is?”

“Something!”

 Delusion wanted to scream. That was not a helpful answer. New ideas were coming too far and slow. Creativity was probably still asleep; the lucky jerk.

Dee watched as Thomas made his way out of the room and to the dining table. The boy sat in his usual seat and laid his head down. Only getting a glance at his younger brother before an idea clicked into Delusion’s head.

Small lies were not working.

He needed a big lie.

“We can stay home,” he whispered the words.

“Huh?”

Delusion turned and faced him with a bright grin. His left eye glowing a bright yellow.

“We can stay home! When we feel all icky, Mom lets us stay home. We just gotta convince her that we need to be home today.”

All other plans left Delusion’s mind as he focused in on this one. It was so perfect he should have thought about it before. Feeling bad meant that Thomas got to stay home, which Anxiety would like because they did not have to be around people. This would give Anxiety the chance to calm down, Thomas could sleep, and everything would be better.

This would help Thomas so much and make them all happy. Delusion could almost imagine the proud smile on Heart’s face.

Dee just had to wait for the perfect moment.

“Thomas, are you feeling okay?”

And there it was. Delusion focused on the scene as he watched Mother come out and put down Thomas’ bowl of cereal in front of him.

Just as Delusion readied the lie, he was pushed back onto his beanbag again. The glow left his eye and Thomas only answered with a shrug.

“What was that for?”

Delusion usually had patience for Anxiety but right now, with the added effect of the side and the situation, he was ready to scream.

“You can’t lie to mom! She is mom! She will know!”

“No, she won’t.”

“Moms always know and when they find out you lied, they get really mad and hate you forever.”

The statement etched itself onto Delusion’s wall before peeling off and disintegrating. An uncertainty it was. Anxiety believed it as a personal truth, but Logic would probably disprove it.

“We aren’t feeling good! This is to help you, Anxiety!”

Delusion stood up to his full height and glared at Anxiety. His left eye morphing back into the yellow, narrow-pupil that the boy usually tried to hide. Anxiety just glared right back.

“I don’t need your help!”

“You are not well! Home is where you stay when you are sick!”

“We are not sick!”

“THEN WHY DO WE FEEL SO BAD? WHAT IS SO SCARY, VIRGIL?”

The named echoed around the room like a gun shot. Delusion grit his teeth as he tried to pull his emotions back under control. Behind him, Mother asked Thomas another question, but it went over Dee’s head. He was focused on the fight in front of him.

Slowly, his shoulders slumped, and he looked away from Anxiety. The floor was so much better.

“This would be so much easier if you just showed yourself to the others,” his whispered the confession.

This secret was the bane of his existence. Anxiety needed more then lies, sugar-coated words, and flimsy fantasies. Logic could probably ground Anxiety in facts. Heart would be there for emotional support. Creativity could probably help distract the anxious side from the worst thoughts.

“You know I can’t do that,” was the response Dee got. It was always the response he got. “They can’t know about me and you promised you would never tell.”

Anxiety never explained why, and Delusion did not expect to get an answer today.

Delusion scratched at his face and shook his head, “I won’t. I won’t tell but this…this isn’t good for you. Hiding away and all that. You need help besides me.”

**“I’m fine.”**

Those two words seemed to shake the room. A deep engraving of them appearing on the wall just besides the bed. The yellow almost seeming to glow brightly. From the mirror, Thomas seemed to say the words in time with the anxious facet.

Delusion felt dizzy from the sudden statement. He felt his mouth move in time with them, but no sound left his lips. His mind was set on the flair of pain next to his left eye. Like someone had just poked him with a needle.

No one had answered for Thomas before. No one had answered for Thomas and lied before. If this is what it felt like, Delusion did not like it. The mirror stopped acting as a window into the real world and only showed the room around the two sides; a signal that the work was done.

Dee struggled to find his voice.

“What…what did you do?”

Anxiety was shaking as he stood in front of the other.

“I-I don’t know. I’m sorry…but it…it isn’t a lie. I am-I am just overreacting. This will all blow over.”

The words, smaller then the previous statement that Virgil had uttered, etched into the wall.

“I’m fine,” the boy mumbled again and made those cursed words glow.

Someone pulled on Delusion from the upper levels. A summons that indicated that someone upstairs saw what had happened and wanted to find him. He resisted it to try and shake himself out of his surprise.

“Virgil…” they could not take back this lie. It was done. Delusion knew that but he hated it.

Another pull made Dee stumble.

“You can’t tell them, Delusion. I’m not ready for them to know…” Anxiety mumbled something else under his breath that the other side did not catch.

Dee took in a breath and allowed himself to stop resisting the summons. His eyes opened to look at the other in front of him.

“When will you be ready?”

Dee did not stay for an answer. Pulled up into the light and into Patton’s arms.


End file.
